Back from Ocean City, NJ.

Steve and I are starting our efforts to be and eat healthier this weekend. (As mentioned in a previous entry, August was unsuccessful). We just got back from NJ yesterday, after a very uneventful flight (TYJ), and it feels so good to be home. We quite smoking over this vacation, and knock on wood, its been very easy this time. We tend to quit for months, then start up sporadically, then slide in constant smoking. Of course never around the babies, etc, etc, but it does feel good to not be chained to that habit. There is no reason on earth it should be easy this time, but it has been. Steve is joining the local HUGE Lifetime Gym this week and is looking forward to working out again. He is at the grocery store right now, stocking up on good food. Its nice to have a partner in this. In general, he eats fairly well, but when he’s working out, we’ll both eat well and be doing it together.

I did a lot of thinking over this vacation about myself and my body and my habits and my weight loss. Most of the thinking was productive. Not all of it blog-worthy. Its really, really come home to me in a variety of ways that my height (or lack of it) is my cross to bare in the weight-department. I have to keep my weight down because even a few pounds means my clothes don’t fit. I usually say I’m 5’3”, but I’m really just over 5’2”. And, as evidenced by pictures, I don’t look trim/fit unless I’m at 130. I should probably be even less than that at this height, but I’ll shoot for 130 at a “must have” first. And since I HAVE to eat less to get and stay there, I will. There’s no point in bemoaning it. I’ll just look at as a handicap that has to be dealt with.

We had a wonderful time, as a family, on this trip. Steve and I enjoyed each other’s company in such a consistent way that it made me very happy. It wasn’t that we didn’t have the odd disagreements or short tempers, but we were able to move through them quickly. Mostly, thanks to his efforts, to reconcile, address, and forget. It was GOOD. Maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to forgive myself for needing Steve.

And the kids – oh, they were a joy. To us, and to their grandparents, and great aunts and uncles, and Great Grandma. We received so many compliments on them both. Its hard to take too much credit or feel too self-congratulatory because good parenting is a long, challenging road, and so much of it is the child, but it did feel as if both Will and Ellen have absorbed enough good from our love and parenting that they can shine it back out to others, and that makes me happy. Will has the social skills of a much older person – he initiates greetings and talks and laughs with people – he remembers names or identities very easily.

Because we just aren’t around other people much, it was also very special to see how attached to us Ellen is. She was definitely showing her preference for Steve, or I, or her Papa (Grandpa). As she got used to seeing everyone else, though, she accepted them into her group of welcomed faces. She is at such a wonderfully interactive phase right now – smiling in response, making noises and sounds in response to the person she is with. She even grins and shakes her head back and forth.

My favorite memories of the trip are of standing at the ocean’s edge, with Steve and I each holding one of Will’s hands, and laughing and jumping as the waves came in. We did that for hours.

I napped a lot.

I do need to do some thinking / writing about my job, but I might have to save that for next time. Ditto politics. Ditto life.

I need to find out what amazing thing Callie’s gotten herself into!