My grandma died on Saturday morning.

She had sustained a broken bone, unbeknownst to anyone until she complained of pain. The initial x-ray didn’t show anything, but then her leg became black and blue, and an x-ray at the hospital found the break. Initially they couldn’t operate to insert the pin because her blood pressure was too low. After a transfusion, the surgery was performed. However, she lost her ability to swallow so they inserted a feeding tube, hoping the swallowing reflex would return. It didn’t. And she passed away.

Although I will miss my Grandma, and wish that she could have known Will and Ellen, she was in pain at the end, and would never have wanted to live like she was living. She was so independent – to the point of endangering herself and others towards the end of her life. My uncle and mother knew Grandma’s wishes, and had decided on a DNR for her. And, in the end, I’m so thankful they didn’t have to make any hard decisions. For them, it would be one thing to let a heart attack proceed without taking live-saving measures, and quite another to remove a feeding tube, no matter how certain you are this is what your loved one would have wanted.

My heart aches for my mother. After all is said and done and felt, she and my uncle are where my heart and thoughts are. I wish them comfort.

My grandma will be cremated, and buried this summer with my grandpa and their other son (my Uncle Jon) in Hope, North Dakota, where she grew up.