I started a blogger page. When I can figure it out, I will share the link. But for now, I'll copy any entries here.

I haven't logged in here since 2010! I had meant to use it a gratitude journal then.

In the spirit of that, today I'm grateful for reliable vehicles, a job that provides flexibility, and healthy lady parts.

I keep flirting with getting below 140, but when I do, I immediately make choices that aren't going to keep me there. I don't think of myself as a self sabotager, but it seems like that is what I am doing. I can't think why, so maybe its more just being bored with mostly keto eating. I did not renew my subscription to the Fitness Hackers facebook group. I wasn't into it enough to justify $30 a month. I definitely see the appeal of a group like that, but my weaknesses aren't really the ones that a group helps manage. I appreciated the resources and information as that was what allowed me to finally drop the bar exam weight after two years. And I do think that a mostly clean keto diet is a good idea for me. I like how I feel when I'm eating well.

During the week, a coconut/almond milk shake with MCT oil, spinach, and half of an avocado makes a good and healthy breakfast. I'm struggling with lunches. The cafeteria at work is closed (maybe until May), so grabbing a salad isn't an option. I've been hit or miss with liking the stews/soups I've made specifically for work lunches. And I haven't been very planful about dinners. This isn't an impossible nut to crack, but I find myself just not cracking it.

Until the week plus of bad weather (first frigid, then icy roads), I had been fairly consistent with getting to the Y four or more times per week. I like the routine of that, and can tell a difference in how I feel. The downside to being more consistent with exercising is the increase in appetite. I've even been swimming a few times when Ellie is at gymnastics - its been a long time since I've done laps. My new fit bit can handle water, which is nice.

I have felt somewhat guilty? restless? uninspired? by the weekends. Part of it is the weather, its hit or miss for walks or being outside. I have been struggling with finding meaningful activities to do with the kids. Otherwise, all four of us will spend the weekend reading or watching shows separately. Too much screen time for sure. I think I may have finally found a place that I can volunteer at with the kids that is close by. I'm going to call the lady at the food shelf this week to see what options we have. So many volunteering opportunities do not allow children.

I had been feeling depressed and anxious for most of January, but I think I'm finally coming out of that funk. That may be the source of most of the above. I have fun things to look forward to: San Antonio later this month, Boston in April, and a trip with the kids to London and Paris this summer!