I am doing surprisingly well considering its election day and I don’t have a plan of attack for dealing with the possible disappointment should my candidate lose. I don’t know if can really prepare. I’ll wait and see what happens and how I feel.

S has been very quiet the past few days. We had a minor tiff over the puppy’s training and our response to her hyper-activity. He really had a hard time with my (gentle) disagreement with his methods. I’m glad we’re getting this practice in before children. I really am. I am finding that I am a serene type “mom” to the puppy so I wonder if that is how I will be as a mother to children. I think that would lovely and very unexpected. After S’s third day of silence I asked if wanted to talk about what was bothering him. He said, “I’ve got a lot on my mind.” and I didn’t pursue it except to tell him I didn’t really know what he wants from me when he is that quiet. He is going through a big transition – changing careers – which I can imagine is very disquieting, but he really should use me a source of support. Its what I’m there for!

I weigh no more than I did at my wedding – and yet I feel so much fatter. Strange, isn’t it? I’m wearing size 6 pants today and I look fat to myself in the mirror. I’m more in tune with my negative self talk, which is good and is what I’m working on but in the present moment - unhelpful.

My supervisor is going to be gone for the rest of the week and I’m in charge – I knew I left management for reason – its very hard to get out of management mode. I am a nightmare to supervise, I think, because I’m forever pointing out what should be done or pressing people for deadlines/commitments instead of generalities. We’ll see how the rest of the week goes.