LYNNABEL's CalorieKing blog
Wednesday, May 11 2005
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
I have so much to write about - I feel like I should be recording every single moment of this pregnancy.
I had a very intense dream last night about the baby - I think its the first time I've actually dreamt about the baby. I dreamt we lived in a tree house of sorts, but under the ground. And there was fire and I couldn't figure out how to get the baby, both cats, the dog, and S out of the tree house. It was frightening. I had to just take the baby and pray that the animals had enough sense to get outside. I can't remember if the dream ended before or after we were outside or not. I also dreamt I was breast feeding. I've been thinking about that a lot too - hoping that I can without too much pain. Breastfeeding is my next topic of research, but I'm hearing that for many women it involves SCABS. As in bleeding enough to form SCABS. Hardly encouraging.
As I've shared with some friends, I keep thinking about labor and birth. I have so far to go before that, but I suppose its only natural to think about it as its the obvious end point that you are trying to get to. I've read several down to earth books lately that have done a lot to reassure me about birth. Essentially, theyre been of the opinion that if you get through with a healthy you and a healthy baby, that's all that matter. Whether or not you get an epidural or have a C-section, there's no prize for doing it well - just doing it is enough. And I like that way of thinking. I think women should absolutely choose how they would like birth to go if it can - like no pain killer, or pain killer, etc, and should NOT have other women judging them. My girlfriend in CA has a sister in law that insisted she (my friend) try to go natural. And it was just really irritating that someone would think it their right to tell you how to do it. Its one thing to advise or to say, "This worked well for me." but to shove your opinion on another - yuck. But, I tend to have an issue with that trait in people in any subject or area of life.
I stayed home from work today. I feel nauseous and just yucky. I could have gutted it out, but for once I decided not to. Sometimes I think its not a bad thing to establish your value a bit too by NOT being there. Of course not chronically, but to make people sweat a bit when you're not around (in moderation) isn't always a bad thing.
I was thinking that as much as you love your parents, you can't probably understand how much they love you until you have a child of your own. And I was thinking about how beautiful and unfair that is. Maybe I'm putting a value or quantity on love that I shouldn't - I don't know - its probably more of a different type of love parent for a child than a child for a parent. That is nature's way of paying it forward, I think.
I sent an email to one of our senators, Norm Coleman (R), who is just the sleaziest person alive, but I unfailingly email him with my opinions on issues and he routinely writes back that, "Thanks, we don't agree, but appreciate your input." But today he (his office) wrote back about the nuclear option being threatened right now and it was funny to see him obviously not agree with using the nuclear option but having to pay some lip service to the stance of much his party. He kept saying how Democrats had to use the filibuster in moderation. I had to laugh because the Dems have let 90-something % of W's judicial nominations through and have opposed very few. Its just a total lie that the Dems have over-used the filibuster. But, the Repubs are brilliant - they can take facts and get the public to believe the opposite. Frightening, but brilliant. There's a rumor going around here that Al Franken will run for the senate seat being vacated by Dayton. Now THAT would be interesting. Too bad MN isn't as strongly liberal as it once was. It shows, too, in our schools and social services now. Ya know who'd I support for President? John McCain. I think I'd cross party lines to vote for him. What a stand-up human being. Its amazing that when W and J Mc were vying for the Republican nomination 5 years ago, W managed to call into question John McCain's military service. A POW who spent 5 years in a prison camp and W can still manage to make people believe that he (W) is somehow a better person. Brilliant. Gross, but brilliant. Appalling, but brilliant. I should amend my statement - I'd cross party lines for John McCain unless Barak O'Bama were running for the Dems. Then I wouldn't. I can dream. To have two such worthwhile, interesting candidates would be great.
No more politics, Lynn. Stop.
I never wrote about seeing my friend Mette from Singapore! She was in town last weekend and we had dinner together. It was great to see her. She looks just like Elle McPhereson but not as tall - I couldn't believe how thin she was. I didnt remember her being that thing when we were kids. I felt like an elephant in comparison and then felt irritated with myself for wasting time and energy comparing my pregnant self to her un-pregnant self. Not to mention WHY is that even an issue? I met her two children and liked her husband much better this time around. I need to keep in better touch with her. She is very special.
Can't wait for August!
***
Just found out S will be gone through the week and into the weekend. Ugh. That's too long.
***
Thinking lots about taking care of myself - of not being lazy with myself. Its so hard for me to get myself to anything lately - this inertia is incredible - but I need to a) get my teeth cleaned, and b) take a shower every day. I don't have to wash my hair every day, but I need to show myself some respect. (I'm showering every other day, folks, I admit it). Its as if taking a shower is huge time and energy committment that serves no purpose but to irritate me. WTF!? My showers take 15 minutes tops. And its hardly climibing Mt Kilaminjaro.
I don't know that writing anything down will work - I know from all the other things I've accomplished in life that its more a matter of just making up your mind to do something, but I've never faced inertia like this. I would like to a) get my teetch cleaned, b) shower daily, c) spend just 15 minutes each evening cleaning something in the house, d) maybe change my work schedule to be 9-6 instead of 7:30 to whenver, Then I might actually get up and go to the gym. and d) log my found again. I don't know. That might be too much. I should perhaps start with a through c and see where that gets me. While I'm listing and dreaming - e) clean out my closet and dresser to make room for the baby. But I just don't have a lot of extras around anymore so I don't know much of a difference that will make. One drawer free would be good. f) The desk could be cleaned out.
Okay - found the dentist's website and requested an appointment online. That was convenient. And now I'm going to take care of b) for today - take a shower. Then, I'm going to do 15 minutes of cleaning.
I had a very intense dream last night about the baby - I think its the first time I've actually dreamt about the baby. I dreamt we lived in a tree house of sorts, but under the ground. And there was fire and I couldn't figure out how to get the baby, both cats, the dog, and S out of the tree house. It was frightening. I had to just take the baby and pray that the animals had enough sense to get outside. I can't remember if the dream ended before or after we were outside or not. I also dreamt I was breast feeding. I've been thinking about that a lot too - hoping that I can without too much pain. Breastfeeding is my next topic of research, but I'm hearing that for many women it involves SCABS. As in bleeding enough to form SCABS. Hardly encouraging.
As I've shared with some friends, I keep thinking about labor and birth. I have so far to go before that, but I suppose its only natural to think about it as its the obvious end point that you are trying to get to. I've read several down to earth books lately that have done a lot to reassure me about birth. Essentially, theyre been of the opinion that if you get through with a healthy you and a healthy baby, that's all that matter. Whether or not you get an epidural or have a C-section, there's no prize for doing it well - just doing it is enough. And I like that way of thinking. I think women should absolutely choose how they would like birth to go if it can - like no pain killer, or pain killer, etc, and should NOT have other women judging them. My girlfriend in CA has a sister in law that insisted she (my friend) try to go natural. And it was just really irritating that someone would think it their right to tell you how to do it. Its one thing to advise or to say, "This worked well for me." but to shove your opinion on another - yuck. But, I tend to have an issue with that trait in people in any subject or area of life.
I stayed home from work today. I feel nauseous and just yucky. I could have gutted it out, but for once I decided not to. Sometimes I think its not a bad thing to establish your value a bit too by NOT being there. Of course not chronically, but to make people sweat a bit when you're not around (in moderation) isn't always a bad thing.
I was thinking that as much as you love your parents, you can't probably understand how much they love you until you have a child of your own. And I was thinking about how beautiful and unfair that is. Maybe I'm putting a value or quantity on love that I shouldn't - I don't know - its probably more of a different type of love parent for a child than a child for a parent. That is nature's way of paying it forward, I think.
I sent an email to one of our senators, Norm Coleman (R), who is just the sleaziest person alive, but I unfailingly email him with my opinions on issues and he routinely writes back that, "Thanks, we don't agree, but appreciate your input." But today he (his office) wrote back about the nuclear option being threatened right now and it was funny to see him obviously not agree with using the nuclear option but having to pay some lip service to the stance of much his party. He kept saying how Democrats had to use the filibuster in moderation. I had to laugh because the Dems have let 90-something % of W's judicial nominations through and have opposed very few. Its just a total lie that the Dems have over-used the filibuster. But, the Repubs are brilliant - they can take facts and get the public to believe the opposite. Frightening, but brilliant. There's a rumor going around here that Al Franken will run for the senate seat being vacated by Dayton. Now THAT would be interesting. Too bad MN isn't as strongly liberal as it once was. It shows, too, in our schools and social services now. Ya know who'd I support for President? John McCain. I think I'd cross party lines to vote for him. What a stand-up human being. Its amazing that when W and J Mc were vying for the Republican nomination 5 years ago, W managed to call into question John McCain's military service. A POW who spent 5 years in a prison camp and W can still manage to make people believe that he (W) is somehow a better person. Brilliant. Gross, but brilliant. Appalling, but brilliant. I should amend my statement - I'd cross party lines for John McCain unless Barak O'Bama were running for the Dems. Then I wouldn't. I can dream. To have two such worthwhile, interesting candidates would be great.
No more politics, Lynn. Stop.
I never wrote about seeing my friend Mette from Singapore! She was in town last weekend and we had dinner together. It was great to see her. She looks just like Elle McPhereson but not as tall - I couldn't believe how thin she was. I didnt remember her being that thing when we were kids. I felt like an elephant in comparison and then felt irritated with myself for wasting time and energy comparing my pregnant self to her un-pregnant self. Not to mention WHY is that even an issue? I met her two children and liked her husband much better this time around. I need to keep in better touch with her. She is very special.
Can't wait for August!
***
Just found out S will be gone through the week and into the weekend. Ugh. That's too long.
***
Thinking lots about taking care of myself - of not being lazy with myself. Its so hard for me to get myself to anything lately - this inertia is incredible - but I need to a) get my teeth cleaned, and b) take a shower every day. I don't have to wash my hair every day, but I need to show myself some respect. (I'm showering every other day, folks, I admit it). Its as if taking a shower is huge time and energy committment that serves no purpose but to irritate me. WTF!? My showers take 15 minutes tops. And its hardly climibing Mt Kilaminjaro.
I don't know that writing anything down will work - I know from all the other things I've accomplished in life that its more a matter of just making up your mind to do something, but I've never faced inertia like this. I would like to a) get my teetch cleaned, b) shower daily, c) spend just 15 minutes each evening cleaning something in the house, d) maybe change my work schedule to be 9-6 instead of 7:30 to whenver, Then I might actually get up and go to the gym. and d) log my found again. I don't know. That might be too much. I should perhaps start with a through c and see where that gets me. While I'm listing and dreaming - e) clean out my closet and dresser to make room for the baby. But I just don't have a lot of extras around anymore so I don't know much of a difference that will make. One drawer free would be good. f) The desk could be cleaned out.
Okay - found the dentist's website and requested an appointment online. That was convenient. And now I'm going to take care of b) for today - take a shower. Then, I'm going to do 15 minutes of cleaning.
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