Not sure what week it is in the Callie Countdown, but after holding at a plateau for three weeks, it finally broke just before Thanksgiving, by about ½ a pound. That ½ pound has stayed away, so I feel good that the old plateau is history. I’m sure the new weight will be its own plateau for a while, but I think I can live with that. I’m taking each week at on its own. Measurements are definitely down, which is good. In fact, my measurements are as low as they’ve been since Will was born. This is good, so I don’t want to detract from it. My waist and hips may never be at their pre-pregnancy measurements. I find this a bit depressing, although I think I’m overall more content in my body than I was before children. Strange. Or maybe not. You don't know what you have until you lose it, right?

So, I have a bit of confession. Everyone talks about how busy and party-filled the holidays are. I always find myself thinking, “I wish I were popular enough to warrant such a stressful number of party invitations.” The holidays have never been party-filled for me. For one, we don’t have family in town, so there aren’t family parties. And I have just one work party/dinner in December. I did get an invitation to a friend’s “ugly-sweater” party this year, but can’t go due to work schedule. Other than that – no parties. No socializing. I told Steve that I want to have a holiday party at our house next year. We do get invited to a family-friend New Year’s Eve party, but it will probably be too far away for us to attend now that we’ve moved. I think I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself. And I know that feeling unpopular is an insecurity of mine. I also know that I can change things to some degree myself, but there are still days when I wish I were at the top of everyone’s list for a party. Yes, I do realize how 13 year old-ish that makes me sound. And its not like socializing is high on Steve's list of priorities, or that we even have a babysitter, so I don't know what I'd do with lots of parties to go to. Ugh. I'm iritating myself.

So, I just got done writing that ^^ when I received an email from my sister and her experiences and work and thoughts and generosity shamed me in my smallness and pettiness of vision. How about worrying about people having enough to eat instead of worrying about not being invited to parties.

A goal I have right now is to really define my goals, dreams, and desires. Personal and professional. I hope I will have some quiet time in the next few weeks to think about those things. I am also going to take the Strengthsfinder 2.0 assessment. I hope that will give me good direction.

I haven’t done an update on the kids in a while – but I’m feeling unmotivated to do that for some reason. It feels like a chore right now instead of something I really want to do. Maybe I’ll set aside sometime later this week so it doesn’t feel like I’m taking time away from something else to do it.

So, TOM appeared with no warning and completely off schedule. Bizarre.

I am all over the place. I’d better put this to rest for today.